What's in the Water: Penny for your Thoughts?

"But, mister, if mass-produced coffee
tastes so bad, why do people still
drink it?"
No one knows, Timmy.

If you've ever wondered, "why are coffee and tea British drinks even though they have a climate perfectly unfit for growing tea which is a pine evergreen or coffee which is a tropical cherry tree?" seek help. Or a degree in botany. But, as part of your course training, read this article!

Coffee and tea became popular in Britain entirely from the Imperial expansionism in the 17th century. They did not need to produce what modern trade routes allowed them to import.

So, what happens when you have a bunch of wealthy traders who have too much free time and don't have to grow their own gourmet beverages? They drink those beverages in snooty clothes and talk about snooty things.

In all seriousness, though, this was the reason for the rise of the coffee shop as the center of intellectual debate during the Enlightenment. Coffee shops were nicknamed "Penny Universities", where men could pay a penny to get in to the shop and get a cup of black murk. All men were equal here, status was disregarded within shops and men of different status could debate intellectual issues as well as discuss politics. Thus started the trend where everybody has an opinion about everything, still present today.

These coffee shops even became popular in the colonies. Pilgrims were famous for bringing coffee over with them at first. Their bread was so stale and full of bugs that they dipped the bread in coffee to soften it and wash the bugs out. Plus, it put some bonus protein in the coffee.

There are debates about this, but apparently women hated coffee during this point in history. They were not welcome in the debate over politics, and some women even began coalitions to stop the consumption of coffee, blaming it on the declining birthrate. Yes, that's right, women thought coffee makes you sterile. On the contrary, men thought it makes you sound smarter. They were both wrong.

Either way, eventually the Penny Universities declined, owing mostly to the rise of tea, which is simpler to make and drink, and to the unstoppable desire of men to feel more important than one another. the higher class, it seems, did not enjoy sharing ideas with those of lower status, or respecting theirs in return. The coffee shop would not see equal popularity until the rise of the middle class, I suppose.

Oh well. The 19th century just missed out, I guess.

News update:
We now offer daily barista specials. These are on the chalkboard by the tea. All barista specials are discounted, so enjoy! And don't forget the birthday party next Saturday. Come perform!

~P.J.

PJP: Birthday ParTAY

So, one year ago (or something like that) we opened our doors with an espresso machine, a couple of chairs, and a lot of hopes and dreams. And, a year later, it's all pretty much still there. I mean, we got a blender, and we have this awesome community that supports us, but the appearance hasn't changed all that much.

It's been fun. We've been absorbed into Siloam. People from all over have signed our walls, drank out coffee, shared our joy, and been enriched. To celebrate the great gift it has been to be a part of the Siloam Springs community, we're throwing a birthday party for ourselves, like any spoiled rich kid.

March 31, show up any time of day for fun, games, discounts, prizes, and performances. We are really trying to fill the stage almost all day long, especially after noon. Please, get people to come share poetry, music, prose, or whatever. We want to express the great tapestry of people that are Pour Jons' customers.

More specific details will be emerging later, but until then, set your calendar for that Saturday, swing by, and hang out. Here's to another year of coffee and fellowship!

What's In The Water: Famous Beverage Crimes 1

Technical difficulties have caused this to post on the wrong day two separate times now. The next post will be this Friday, as is within my power.

We are well aware of the fact that the first thing people think when they walk in Pour Jons is, "How can I use my drink to take over the world?" Unfortunately, the track record for crimes using tea and coffee is not in your favor. Pour Jons employees are highly trained in beverage counter-espionage, but we're going to share with you some of our course materials today. Let's look at a famous case of scalding drink scandals.

McDonald's Black Brew


I'm sure you've all heard this hackneyed example of everything wrong with the justice system:

A woman gets a cup of coffee to go, and while she is driving she spills it and burns herself. She then sues McDonald's for everything they're worth because their coffee shouldn't be so hot. In the process, she walks away with millions in damages all because the upholstery on her snazzy Lexus got stained.

If that were true, it would indeed be a lame story about America. The truth is a little more palatable, however. In reality, the woman suffered third-degree burns over a fifth of her body, she was not driving the car at the time, and had to be hospitalized for a week. She sued to cover her medical costs and was awarded a grand total of $640,000. To put it even more in perspective, the court only awarded her this much to compensate for the fact that over 250,000 other similar complaints had been filed, including numerous reports of third-degree burns, and ignored by McDonald's corporate.

They were brewing and serving their coffee at 190 degrees because an "expert" had told them that it would preserve the taste better to keep it at that temperature. 190 degrees will give you a nasty burn.

Here's the problem.

Bad Coffee: Inspiration for Pirate Flags

Coffee is indeed best when brewed between 190-200 degrees. But if you then continue to cook it at that temperature after it is brewed, you sizzle and fry and murder all the lovely little flavors in it. This is why coffee you've left in the pot on the burner all morning never tastes good with lunch. Admit it, you've all done that at some point. McDonald's was facing lawsuits out of a misguided and desperate attempt to make their coffee taste better.

We do admit, they need all the help they can get. This is also why Pour Jons will always brew coffee when it is ordered. If we don't take the time, it just tastes bad. And then we end up burning women.


I was going to discuss another famous beverage crime today, but this one took up a bunch of space, so I'll save it for next week.

In other news, This week get a dollar off a pour over if you make a snooty comment about how you prefer your coffee brewed at exactly 193.7 degrees.


Drink up, me hearties!

~P.J.